Over You Page 7

  “We broke up years ago.” She gazed at Hudson as she spoke. “I’ve moved on, right? I’ve dated. I’m probably just feeling vulnerable because I broke up with Alex so recently.”

  Hudson stood and rubbed against Jessica’s arm, purring madly.

  “It’s not that I still care about Kyle, right, big guy?” Jessica scratched under his chin and he nipped at her fingers. Laughing, Jessica flopped onto her back and closed her eyes, but instead of falling asleep, she kept seeing the interplay between Kyle and his date. A mixture of jealousy, anger, and desire whirled inside of her.

  As drowsiness began to overtake her, she felt a vague sense of wanting Kyle back. But then she remembered that he didn’t want her. After all, he was the one who had broken things off without any explanation and no further contact. Clearly, he had no desire to have a relationship with her ever again. As she drifted off, she realized that she needed to put away all thoughts of having any kind of relationship with Kyle Judd and simply move on with her life.

  Jessica awoke the next morning to the sound of Hudson meowing insistently. Then she heard a loud knock at the front door. Leaping out of bed, Jessica looked out the window and saw that Kyle had already arrived.

  “What time is it?” she muttered as she glanced at the bedside clock. “Oh. I guess I slept in.”

  Frowning, she threw on a robe and rushed through brushing her teeth.

  Suddenly irritated at Kyle for being in her life again, she wondered why she should hurry. But then she pictured her aunt Ellen and how disappointed she would be if her bathroom wasn’t done when she came home.

  “All right,” she muttered, then went down the stairs, deciding not to care how she looked since there was no possibility of a relationship with Kyle. She found the thought liberating and she actually had a smile on her face when she opened the door. Kyle’s eyes opened wide in surprise and Jessica wondered why. Was it because she was still in her robe or because she hadn’t bothered to brush her hair? In either case, she had to swallow the laughter that threatened to burst forth. “Good morning, Kyle,” she sang out, suddenly in a very good mood now that she wasn’t allowing herself to care about Kyle or what he thought.

  “Uh, hi there.”

  “Sorry I’m not dressed yet. I guess I overslept a bit.” Jessica watched as Kyle’s gaze took in her appearance, stopping on her hair which she knew was sticking out in several directions.

  “I thought you usually got up early.”

  Jessica found her good mood vanishing at Kyle’s familiarity with her normal routine. It felt much too personal and she didn’t like that he knew her so well. With forced cheerfulness she said, “Well, I guess you don’t know me as well as you thought you did.”

  Kyle’s eyebrows drew together and his eyes met hers. “No, I guess I don’t.”

  Jessica smiled in response. “I’ll let you get to work. I have a busy schedule myself, so just let yourself out when you’re done.”

  “Okay.”

  Holding the door open wider, Jessica waited for him to walk past her and up the stairs. He gazed at her as he walked in and she stared back, then she closed the door behind him. She tried not to glare at his back as he walked up the stairs, although she still felt the sting of his comment.

  As if he knows me so well, she thought angrily, all the while knowing that he knew her better than any other man did.

  Chapter Eleven

  Once Jessica heard the unmistakable sounds of Kyle working, she tiptoed up the stairs and into her bedroom. Though she wanted to shower, she was hesitant to do so. The thought of Kyle being in the next room while she would be in such a vulnerable position made her uncomfortable. And her discomfort made her irritated at him for causing her to feel that way.

  I need to dig around in the attic anyway, she thought as she pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I can shower after he leaves.

  A few minutes later she climbed the stairs to the attic, and when she reached the door she hesitated. The last time she’d been in the dusty space, she had been with her Uncle Patrick. The large open room had always felt creepy to her and she’d never gone there on her own.

  Ellen really wants that wood carving that belonged to Patrick, she thought as she pushed the attic door open. I just hope it won’t take too long to find.

  The door creaked a bit and she flicked on the flashlight she’d brought with her. Shining the beam around the room, she found the string hanging from one of the bare light bulbs and pulled, illuminating a portion of the room. She turned on the other two lights, and then turned off her flashlight and set it on a table layered with dust.

  Trying not to think about the spiders that might be hiding in the corners, she pushed aside the cobwebs in her path and surveyed the boxes stacked against the walls.

  “This might take a while,” she muttered as her gaze wandered over the boxes, looking for some indication of where to start searching.

  None of the boxes were labeled, so she decided to start with the nearest box.

  An hour later she’d unearthed the Christmas decorations and lots of old books, but she still hadn’t found the wood carving that her aunt had described. She pulled an unopened box near the light. The four flaps of the box were folded neatly together and when she lifted them up, a cloud of dust filled the air, making her cough.

  She began digging through the contents, looking for anything made of wood, but all she found were stacks of papers. Lifting some of them out and setting them on the floor, she continued searching until she reached the bottom of the box. No sign of a wood carving.

  Sighing, she began to put the papers back in the box, when something on one of the pages caught her eye. Pulling the sheet of paper from the stack, she glanced at the date. It was fifty years old. Intrigued, she read the handwritten letter.

  My dearest William,

  I wanted to let you know how much I truly enjoyed the meal you prepared for me. I know you are a very busy man and that you don’t spend very much time cooking, so it meant the world to me that you would take the time to prepare my favorite dish. It turned out beautifully.

  My hope is that you are not doing this because you pity me, but rather because you choose to spend time with me and enjoy my company as much as I enjoy yours. I look forward to spending time with you again.

  ~B

  I wonder who William is, Jessica thought as she reread the letter. Then she recalled her aunt saying that the belongings of the previous owner were still in the attic. These must be his, she realized.

  Curious if there were more letters, Jessica looked through the papers she’d taken out of the box and found several more. Then she searched through the box until she was satisfied that she’d found them all. She carried the stack out of the attic and down the stairs to the second floor of the house. Pausing at the base of the stairs, she made sure she could hear Kyle working, then ventured out into the hallway and into her room, closing the door behind her.

  Placing the letters on her bed, she arranged them in chronological order, with the oldest ones on top. Then she carried the stack to the chair in the corner of her room and settled in to read. The first one she’d found was also the oldest and she set that aside before turning to the next one, which was dated two weeks after the first.

  My dearest William,

  I hope you can forgive me for the ugly words I said. I really do care about you—more deeply than I should. It’s simply that I had trouble believing that you meant the things you said to me. But after thinking about it, I know you were telling me the truth. You’ve been nothing but honest and kind and you didn’t deserve to be called a liar.

  Sadly, I’m unaccustomed to being told the truth by the men in my life. I promise that I won’t doubt you again.

  ~B

  Jessica found herself getting caught up in the budding relationship between William and B, whoever she was. She picked up the next letter, which was dated two months after the previous one.

  My dearest William,

  The tim
e we spent together last night was an oasis in the middle of my troubled life. I regret that I haven’t been available to be with you for the past weeks, but as you know, it can’t be helped. If we are to continue our relationship, I must meet my other obligations without fail. We both know what will happen if I don’t.

  I will do all within my power to come see you the very moment I can get away.

  Yours,

  ~B

  Jessica was becoming more intrigued with each letter. Who was B and why was she having so much difficulty seeing the man she obviously adored? Jessica set the letter aside and saw the next one was dated several weeks later.

  My dearest William,

  He came home early from his business trip and nearly caught me after I had left your warm embrace and traveled home. Fortunately, he was distracted and failed to notice that I had forgotten to place my wedding ring upon my finger. I was able to slip it back on before he bothered to speak to me though, so all is well.

  Although the fear of his wrath makes me pause, the thought of never seeing you again makes me weep. I know it is not fair to you that we keep our relationship secret, but I am not yet ready to consider the consequences of leaving him. I love you all the more for understanding.

  I do not deserve you.

  ~B

  Nearly gasping in surprise at the revelation that B was a married woman having an affair, Jessica eagerly turned to the next letter, anxious to know what would happen next. Surprised to see the next letter was dated only a few days later, Jessica read on.

  My dearest William,

  Though I haven’t been able to see you, I needed to write to you. Somehow, even when I am just writing to you, I feel connected to you. I need to feel connected to you today. I need to feel loved by someone. He has been so cold to me since he’s been home. Colder than usual. I feel invisible in his presence and I long to be in yours. How can I feel so lonely when I have people around me? I wonder if there is something wrong with me. The way he treats me makes me feel like I have no value.

  Maybe I don’t.

  ~B

  Jessica realized that tears had filled her eyes as she’d read B’s letter.

  I know how you feel, she thought. She remembered the deep loneliness she’d felt after Kyle had left her. Even more, she remembered how she’d questioned her own self-worth for a long time. She didn’t know if she would ever completely get over the hurt he’d put her through.

  As she began to wallow in self-pity, her cell phone rang.

  “Hello?” she asked, glad for the distraction.

  “Jessica?”

  “Oh, Ellen. How are you?”

  “Just fine. I wanted to know if you’d found that wood carving yet.”

  Perhaps Ellen would know who B was, Jessica thought. “Not yet. But I found some old love letters that I guess belonged to the last owner. William?”

  “I believe that was his name, yes.”

  “Do you know if he was married?”

  “I have no idea. All I know is that he died and then we bought the house some months later.”

  “Okay. Well, I’ll keep looking for the carving.”

  “Thank you, dear.”

  Jessica promised to come visit her aunt later that afternoon, then hung up.

  “I guess I’d better find that carving before I go over there,” Jessica said to Hudson, who was lying in a patch of sunlight in the middle of the bed. “These letters will have to wait.”

  She placed the letters in the drawer of the nightstand next to the bed, then decided to eat something before continuing her search. Thoughts of the story unfolding in William’s letters filled her mind and she walked to the head of the staircase and began walking down without noticing that no sounds were coming from her aunt’s bedroom. Halfway down the stairs, she heard the front door open. She froze as her gaze flew to the entryway, where Kyle stood, his hands full of supplies.

  Not sure what to do, Jessica met Kyle’s eyes and found him staring at her, the hint of a smirk on his face.

  “Come on down, Jessica,” he said, exaggerating her name. “I can’t get past you with these things in my hands.”

  Annoyance rode up her back at him telling her what to do. It didn’t seem to matter that he was being completely reasonable. It aggravated her to feel like she was in his way. In a small way it even hurt her feelings, like he didn’t want her around. Swallowing her pride, she walked down the stairs, careful not to trip as that would just seal any humiliation she felt.

  Once she reached the bottom, she swept her hand toward the stairs. “All yours.”

  He grinned, as if he knew exactly what she had been thinking, then went up.

  Jessica glared at his back, then went into the kitchen to find something to eat, though she suddenly wasn’t very hungry.

  What is this affect he has on me? Why does his very presence make me so angry? She shook her head in frustration that she was having so much trouble controlling her emotions. I’ll just need to be more careful about not running in to him. The less I see him, the better off I’ll be.

  Feeling slightly better, she found something to eat, then went back up to the attic, this time paying attention to whether or not she could hear Kyle working. Once in the attic, she resumed her search. This time she had more luck and found the wood carving in the second box she looked in. She examined the hand-carved bear, admiring the workmanship.

  Carrying the wooden bear, Jessica made her way back to her bedroom and set it on the table. She glanced in the mirror and knew that she really needed to shower. Gathering her supplies, she hurried to the bathroom and locked herself in. She stood under the hot water, enjoying the feeling of getting clean after spending the morning in the dusty attic. Suddenly the lights turned off and with no windows in the room, it became pitch dark. An involuntary scream left her throat.

  She heard Kyle swear in apparent frustration and realized he was only inches away from her, in her aunt’s bathroom. Wondering what had happened, she shut off the water and blindly reached for her towel.

  “Jess?” Kyle asked a moment later from just outside the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

  Her eyes shot open, though it didn’t help her see anything. The idea of Kyle talking to her when she was stark naked unnerved her and made her feel completely vulnerable, which in turn made her angry and self-defensive. “What did you do?” she yelled out, certain it was his fault.

  “Me? I didn’t do anything.”

  She toweled herself off as best she could without being able to see what she was doing. “Of course you did. You’re the one using power tools and cutting and drilling.” When she was done drying off, she wrapped the towel around herself.

  “It’s as much your fault as it is mine,” he said.

  For some reason, his comment infuriated her. He was encroaching on her territory and inconveniencing her, and now he had the nerve to blame her for his mistake? She flung the door open. “How could it possibly be my fault?”

  Kyle took a step back and threw his hands up in surrender. “Whoa.” Then his gaze lazily wandered over her towel-covered form. “Nice towel.”

  Jessica glanced down at herself and felt the blood rush to her face. In her fury, she hadn’t considered that there would be enough light in the hallway for Kyle to see her so clearly. Mortified, she rushed back into the dark bathroom and hid behind the door, just allowing her face to peer out into the hallway. “Well, just fix it. Okay?”

  “I wish I could, but since I didn’t break it, I can’t fix it.”

  “That is so typical.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Jessica could see she’d gotten to him, which made her feel better. She opened her mouth to speak just as the lights in the bathroom came back on. Startled, she forgot what she had been about to say.

  “See?” Kyle said, a look of triumph on his face. “Like I said, it wasn’t me.”

  Embarrassed to be proven so completely wrong, Jessica slammed the door in his face. “What
ever,” she muttered as she dropped her towel and put on the clothes she’d brought with her to the bathroom.

  Chapter Twelve

  Jessica left the house without speaking to Kyle, and drove to the hospital. When she gave Ellen the wood-carved bear, Ellen was pleased.

  “Oh, you found it.” Ellen set it on the table next to the chair she sat in. “I hope it wasn’t too hard to find.”

  Jessica sat in the chair adjacent to her aunt’s. “Tell me the story behind it. I’ve been curious about it ever since you asked me to look for it.”

  “It’s silly, really. Your Uncle Patrick and I liked to go on little trips and this was an object we found on one of those trips. Patrick found it in a little shop and wanted to buy it, but I thought it was much too expensive. It’s hand-carved, you see, so even though it’s small, it was a bit pricey.”

  Jessica picked up the carving and looked at it more closely, noticing the markings from the carver’s knife.

  “Patrick finally talked me in to it, and we brought it home. Well, he kept it right on his desk for the longest time. When he became sick, he wanted me to bring it to the hospital so he could have it near him.” Ellen paused, looking like she was trying to control her emotions. “He told me he loved it so because it reminded him of me and the powerful memories he had of that trip. You see, he and I had gotten in to a big argument on that trip and I had . . . well, I had threatened to leave him.”

  “Oh, Ellen, I’m so sorry.” Jessica set the carving on the table as she focused on what her aunt was saying.

  Ellen smiled. “It’s okay. That fight led to us having a long talk and clearing the air about some misunderstandings we’d had. In the end, it drew us closer.” Ellen picked up the bear and gazed at it. “That’s why it held such strong memories for him.” Ellen rested her hands in her lap, the carving held close. “After he died, well, I couldn’t stand to look at it. It made me miss him too much. But now I just feel a need to have it nearby.”